all I'm lookin' for is my little bit of heaven
by Merkanzee
Summary: You know you can trust it when Elijah tells you "always and forever." She trusts him completely and will not be free of him any time soon. He can say the same and has no desire to ever be parted from his heart again. They keep their word.


AN: I don't own TVD or any of its intellectual property. I do own my Elejah desires, however and shan't let go of them any time soon.

Elena's head was tucked under his chin, both of them laid down on her soft bed. Elijah had his arms wrapped around her back, trying not to hold her too tightly. He was not ready for sleep and to be honest, was watching her. He wanted to imprint her on his memory for eternity and no matter how much he looked at her, it was never enough. He'd been ever in her shadow, during his absence, desperate for her eyes on him, desperate for that pit of unease inside to be quelled. Even when he'd returned two years after leaving, he'd still found himself longing for her and taking everything he could from her. He had dreams of a life with her, despite knowing they could not be, but he was just so sick of not feeling peace. Elijah had found it in her honest and earnest touch when she hugged him upon his return.

She had her right cheek pressed to his chest and she kept moving it back and forth, seeming to want to dig inside of him. She had fallen asleep quickly, no doubt from the day's stress. She'd been almost killed again, another attempt to strike at Klaus' intent. Elijah had been there, along with the Bennett witch and Salvatores and they'd saved her. He did not intend on her to be used as some tool, some piece in a game that she had no business even playing. He had promised her, when he returned from burning the white tree, that he would not leave her again. He'd cleared his mind and faced his heart. He loved her and could not be away from her. Upon seeing her relief at his return and the way her heart had picked up, he knew his leaving had not done her any favors either. He would just have to be better, for her and for himself.

Elena had gone to his side after the ordeal and did not leave him. The brothers had offered to take her home, of course, and she'd reassured them of her health, but she stayed at Elijah's side. After calming them down, she'd turned to him, not looking him quite in the eye. He could hear her heartbeat working at a uneven pace. She was tired and euphoric and hesitant and excited when she asked him to take her home. He was confused and hopeful and just watched her for a moment, silent. When her hand raised and clung at his suit coat button, he finally got out a rough "yes".

Stefan and Damon had made no protest and he knew it was because they knew she cared for him. She'd made it quite obvious that he was her friend when Damon and Stefan were still planning to kill him. The brothers knew that he was precious to Elena and therefore, could not hurt him without hurting her. They trusted him, he'd earned that over time. He thought they knew that he himself loved the young woman, as they had once upon a time, but didn't dare bring it up.

As they'd arrived at her house, she'd grown so tired that she'd sat on her couch and was promptly asleep. He stepped over to her and swept her off her feet. Elena had stirred with a small noise, but gave her consent after he asked her quietly if it was okay that he carry her to her room. Elena's grip tightened on his shirt and she wanted to cuddle into him, but before she could, they were in her room. She was on her bed, covers tightly pressed onto her frame, and Elijah was walking away from her.

Elena called out quickly, not afraid of being alone, but not wanting it either,

"Elijah, please... Don't leave. I need you here tonight."

He stopped by her door, hand on the knob, but did not turn. He was looking at the handle while running his fingers over it. He seemed hesitant, but spoke surely.

"Of course. If that's what you want."

Elena propped herself up against the headboard and motioned for him to come to her. Elijah saw her pat the bed beside her, but he instead pulled up a chair close to her bed. She bit her lip before speaking slowly.

"Elijah, I don't want to feel like I need protection. I don't want you to think I'm weak or that I'm just using-"

He held a hand up to her and smiled a small smile.

"Elena, you could never make me think such a thing. After what you've been through, I would not blame you for what you're feeling. It would be my honor to give your mind ease."

She reached for his hand and his jaw clenched slowly, muscle pulsing at the contact. He let her take his hand between her own and she seemed to calm down some. He relished the feel of her warm skin against his cooler flesh and didn't miss the way his hand seemed to buzz. Elijah kept his jaw tight for a moment longer before looking up into her face and noticing that she'd been staring at him. Her eyes were sad, but bright and she had a small smile as well. More questions floated through his mind, ones that he'd wanted to consider before, but he denied them. He could not take that kind of thinking or indulging in dreams.

"I always feel different with you. My worries seem to be bigger and more silly, but it doesn't feel like I'm ever weak with you. I would usually fight against asking someone to protect me, I wouldn't want to feel that weak. But... You make me feel safe and not like I'm just being stupid. I'm afraid of disappointing you or coming across as dumb, but you always calm me down right away. I don't know. You make me feel silly, but real. You don't treat me like a burden."

She always seemed to know what his heart wanted to hear, even if his mind didn't want to allow it. She kept her gaze locked on him as she spoke, but when she was done, her eyes faltered back to where she held his hand in her own. She gripped it tighter on her lap and then pulled it to her chest, over her heart. Elena closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, calm and serene. Elijah noticed that while she seemed down, she was happy. It was in her smile and the way she gently touched him and looking back, he realized she never really seemed peaceful in her life, but she usually had this face with him.

While her face was down, he took the moment to loosen his mouth and felt his face soften. He knew how he was looking at her right now, but it felt so right to be open, even if she wasn't looking at him. He wanted to look at her forever and have her see the love he felt through his eyes. Elena's head bent forward, touched her lips to his hand and he felt her smile grow. His other hand twitched with the want to run over her face and feel her every angle. He had to close his eyes as well at that and steady himself as she murmured.

"I'm sure you wondered why I didn't ask Stefan or Damon to come with me."

"It had crossed my mind, yes."

She laughed at that, lightly, and put their hands back in her lap. As her head turned up again, he swallowed and focused his face back together. She smiled at him and just shook her head.

"You really are oblivious to anything but your family, aren't you?"

Elijah swallowed again and swore the walls were closing in on him at that moment. He thought fast, not prepared for something like this. He knew he should deny, walk away, but he couldn't lie to her. He could never lie to her now. He would give her whatever she wanted. He kept his gaze level with hers and tried to keep from losing his composure. His voice was tight however and inwardly, he cursed.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She laughed again and her right hand covering his hand moved to his face and he swore that his heart started beating only to stop at that moment.

"I'm sure you don't. But you must have an idea."

She stared at him for a moment longer, during which he felt his throat close, and continued. Her hand was arm against his cheek and he fought leaning into it. It felt too good, her touching him. He didn't deserve such grace.

"Elijah, I love you. And you know I do. Don't try to deny it. I love you."

He felt so human in that moment, so alive. He thought his breath caught and his palms were sweating. He thought he must look a fool with his wide eyes and twitching jaw. Elena's hand stayed on him and his free hand moved up to cover her own. This was it. This was the moment where he let her go. He would make the choice Stefan couldn't. He would do the right thing and let her keep her human life normal. Well, as normal as it could be.

Elena seemed to sense it in him and put both of her hands on his face to pull him closer.

"No, Elijah. Don't do that. I'm in enough danger as it is and if I'm going to die, I don't want to die without you knowing love. I want to experience as much as I can and I want to do that with you. If you don't love me, fine. But don't think you're protecting me by running away."

At that, he gasped and his arms reached forward to take her in his arms. They froze in the air for a moment while he waged war with himself.

_She wants this. She's said so and you know it's not fleeting. Not like with Tatia and Katerina._

_She's young. She doesn't know what she wants. She'll want it through soon enough._

_Take that chance. Take the time you can with her. She'll be gone, her life will be too brief for you to miss any moment you can. _

_But I... _

At the last thought, he looked into her eyes again and there was only sparkling love. She would not make him love her, but she wasn't going anywhere. The nature of their bond was still there. No obligations or ultimatums. Only honesty and unselfishness. In that second he took her in, hair mussed and clothes askew, he once again was taken in by her beauty. She was lovely on the outside, no doubt, but her heart once again took him for a ride and made him feel things he'd long thought lost. He knew in that moment that he could not refuse her, because she was right. Being here would mean he could protect her and being honest with himself, he knew he was too weak to live without her now.

After the brief hesitation, his body continued its intent and pulled her into him. He held her as tightly as he could, pressing his face into her hair. His voice was rough now, fraying at the edges.

"Elena... I could never do anything but love you. My dear, I am enraptured with everything you are and could never let you go."

At that, Elena had sniffled and let out a small noise at the back of her throat. Her hands went around his back and she held him almost as tightly as he was holding her. They stayed like that, for who knows how long, before Elena started to pull back. Elijah was going to let her go, but then with her arms still on him, she was pulling him back with her. He crawled onto the bed next to her. Elena kept her hands on him and when he was down, moved to lay her head on him.

Which was where he found himself now. He found his own exhaustion creeping in on him and brushed his fingers across Elena's temple as he settled into sleep. As Elijah's eyes drifted closed, he pressed his face against the top of her head, always wanting to be closer to her. A protest floated across his mind, but he ignored it. He would not hide behind misguided propiety any longer. He would not leave tonight. He was going to protect her. He would stay and if something should come after her, he'd be ready to defend her. He'd given his word, after all.

00000

Life continued and for them, that meant together. They traveled and he taught her many things about the world and life. Elena and Elijah never came out and said anything to the others, but they knew. Elijah and Elena didn't need words to explain what was going on or how they felt. It was all too obvious to see when they were together. Elijah smiled and actually seemed happy now and Elena seemed to take advantage of living her life, peacefully no less. There was an unspoken bond, but it was apparent to those involved that this was a special bond, one that took them by surprise, but one that could not be lost. They both considered each other their closest friend.

Because of this however, nothing really changed in the romance department. Elena was afraid to push him because she knew he was staunch in his reservations about her getting tangled up with a vampire. She knew that she should just be grateful he's staying this time and that he accepted her feelings for him, but part of her wondered if he knew just what she had confessed to. He probably only considered her love for him as one of a friend, despite everything. As time went on and she grew older, she was forced to take it as truth. But he was too precious for her to meddle with, so she grew acquainted with what they had.

Elijah on the other hand, only grew more restless as time went on, feeling more and more like she was gripping his heart in her hand and not knowing the control she had over him. He would not change a single moment with her, but he could not deny that he had the urge to take her in his arms and claim her as his. He had not felt such a possessive side of himself, not quite like this, and he knew she did not want a man to own her. So he continued to live her life with her, sharing in her joys and sorrows. They were the closest of friends, but less than lovers. In the back of his mind and in the depths of his heart, he waited for her inevitable departure.

He watched as she danced around him, in and out of his vision, and was reminded of the way that Tatia and Katerina had come and gone. Tatia had been the love his life and maybe she was. Or so he thought. That wasn't his life anymore. He was no longer that foolish, meddlesome and weak person. Tatia had started out as a game with the other men and when she turned her back on him, not wanting to settle down, he grew tired of her antics. His antics. He wanted more out of love and not to compete with his own brother over it. She had been playful and kind and it had pained her to hurt him, but as it turned out, she was not who he thought she was.

Katerina had just been a hope. She was a shell of his first love and time proved her to be just that. She was nothing like Tatia and when she turned, she'd taken all the steps to cut that light out. Elijah had thought that maybe a purity could live on, past mistakes could be corrected, but he never got that chance. His brief moment of letting his guard down and he'd been disappointed. Katerina had just taught him that no good could come from trusting a Petrova. They were beautiful and had good intentions, but they would ultimately choose what they wanted over everything else. They didn't let him in. They didn't want him in.

The more time he spent with Elena, the more he realized his earlier desires had not been in vain. Just fufilled incredibly late. Elena was everything that Tatia and Katerina were not. She was selfless and true and compassionate and just so loving and trusting. She was everything he'd wanted so long ago. Love and peace. She was everything he wanted now that she had reignited that spark in his heart. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe. He wanted to give her everything that he could because she deserved it. She was what he had grown to think humans were incapable of.

After all his disappointments, he was not going to just let this go. So he stuck with her, addicted to her presence, her scent, her touch, all the while going more mad with needing her close and with him forever. He tried to make do with holding her at night while she slept, which he did almost every night. He practically lived with her. He had clothes at her place and made her breakfast. He shared her life, her house, her bed with her, but he could not share his desires. Not unless she reciprocated.

And so time passed and it wasn't until Elena was 26, an age Tatia and Katerina never reached, that she turned. It wasn't intentional or planned, but one wrong spell led to one overeager vamp led to Elena being ripped at with teeth to where she was now, lying bleeding on the pavement and at death's door. Elijah had taken her in his arms and she panted heavily while her eyes glassed over.

"Elijah... please... give me... your blood. I don't want... to leave you."

She coughed then and he felt like he would cry for the first time in so long. He did not want this for her. He would not do this. He would let her die human and intact, despite the pain and her anger. He tried to keep that in his mind as he looked at her, her eyes filling with tears at the knowledge that he wouldn't do it. Elena seemed to gather all her remaining strength together and pressed her hands to his face.

"Please... I'm in love with you. I need to be... with you."

In the next second, his mouth was on hers and kissing her fiercely. She whimpered into the kiss and sputtered. The blood he'd covered his lips in from his wrist slid down her throat and her eyes closed. He kissed her for a moment longer as he felt her go limp in his arms and felt hot water gathering in his eyes. He'd been too weak, too needy to let her go. Elijah pulled Elena up, her head against his shoulder, and rocked back and forth slowly. He'd condemned her because of his weakness. He mourned this more than her death and prayed that she would not blame him when she realized that she'd be a monster.

It wasn't until two hours later at around 1 in the morning, Elena still in Elijah's arms and on her bed, that she woke up again. Her head throbbed and she knew instantly what had happened. She didn't want to deal with this alone and wrapped her arms around Elijah as they lay on her bed. She didn't need to ask to know that she was in transition. She'd asked for it after all. She still thought about whether to complete it, now that she was thinking more clearly, but when she looked up into Elijah's eyes, she knew that she would.

She would be strong, he would show her how. He looked to be relieved and despondent at the same time. Elena knew he hadn't wanted this for her, but she would show him that she did. She would show him that she was still the Elena he knew and that he hadn't destroyed her. Elena didn't care anymore about what it made her look like. She needed him and he needed her. He would have let her go if he didn't need her the way she needed him.

When he continued to look broken, she moved forward and kissed him simply. They had forever and she didn't want to waste any more time. Elijah kissed her back with more passion than he could contain and she knew even more then that he loved her. With all that's happened, there was no more doubt in her mind. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against him. Her head hurt and her body ached, but she didn't dare break his kiss.

It was when her head seemed to feel like it was splitting apart that she groaned. He broke away and eyed her carefully.

"Elijah... I'm going to need blood... in order to complete transition."

He nodded slowly and separated himself from her. When he rose from her bed, he moved to her dresser, where she saw there was a blood bag. He picked it up, held it in hands and seemed to weigh the situation. He didn't look at her as he asked,

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

She told him surely,

"Yes."

He turned to face her then and she saw that he had been breaking inside because his eyes were flooding with tears. He was so torn and Elena called out to him.

"None of this is your fault. I'm not going to lose who I am. I'm not going to leave you."

He walked forward quickly at that and grasped at her face to kiss her deeply. Elena immediately took his wrists in her hands and kissed him back. Elijah broke their contact and pressed his forehead against hers. He didn't let go of her face and spoke through gritted teeth.

"I need you. You know that. I need you Elena, but I don't want to shatter that part of you that I don't see in anyone else."

She picked up the dropped bloodbag between them and felt hunger sear through her. Before she could even think about drinking the life out of the bag, she one last time framed his face with her hand. His concern for her would never stop touching her heart. Elena looked into his eyes surely, making sure he understood how serious she was.

"You won't."

"I will stay with you and not let you hurt anyone. I will be there whenever you need me. I won't let anything hurt you. I will love you as long as I live this cursed life, Elena. With you, I'm not so damned. With you, I've found hope and peace. I will never let you go. I love you so much, Elena. It's only ever going to be you. Always and forever."

She smiled then, tears coming into her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. She didn't think her heart could swell with anymore love without exploding. She's never felt this much love, devotion and understanding. It was more then her senses being heightened. Elena knew she would never let him go either. As she ripped the top off the packet, she grinned at him, feeling glee warm her all over. Despite her change, things felt the same. Only better.

Her insides tingling with nostalgia, she recounted one of their shared memories. Everything about him was familiar and warm. Playfully, she spoke easily and he took her hand into his.

"Give me your word?"

"I give you my word."


End file.
